A love letter from Dani
What I'm learning about myself from Bambi's health diagnosis + a brief survey
I had interpreted last week’s New Moon in Gemini as a “nice one.” It was conjunct Venus, the planet of love and pleasure!
But I overlooked that, at 16 degrees of Gemini, the moon was conjunct my natal Chiron, the planet/asteroid known as the wounded healer. It marks where our core wounds are, so when it’s activated, it brings these sensitivities to the surface.
When I trained in astrology, my teacher told us to tread lightly on Chiron in readings. Ask questions. But don’t push the client / “querent” to share more than they want. The wound may be unconscious.
The day of the New Moon was not a pleasant one for me. My senior chihuahua, Bambi, had been coughing increasingly and started taking rapid breaths, even when resting. I got through a series of calls, then took her to the vet, where I got the diagnosis of congestive heart failure. It’s what a large percentage of small dogs die from. I thought we’d have a couple more years together; it might only be six months.
How to best care for Bambi is of course a concern. But loss cuts a deeper wound. It asked me, who am I without Bambi? In just four years, I’ve made being a dog person my whole personality. I’m the person who takes her dog everywhere. Look through my Instagram and it’s mostly Bambi. I’ve written so many short stories about dogs, I could release a collection.
I also found myself questioning how I’ve spent the past four years. Since adopting Bambi, I left a job, wrote two novels, moved home with my family, and studied astrology, energy healing, and meditation. I traded material aspirations for inner inquiry. I think, a lot of that has to do with Bambi. The unconditional love of a dog helped me choose my desires over my fear.
In my chart, Chiron is opposite Uranus, the planet of ideas and breakthroughs. Bambi’s health diagnosis felt sudden in a Uranus-sort of way. It forced me to rethink my priorities. It opened a gate for new knowledge. Uranus and Chiron moved in and out of this opposition for more than a decade, so a lot of millennials have this formation in their chart—the push/pull of healing and breakthroughs.
On an upcoming podcast episode, my guest talks about how her dog’s karma is interwoven with her own. Dogs also come into life with a soul purpose, or a mission. I’ve been asking myself, what is Bambi’s mission, and why were we assigned to each other?
The answer I’ve settled on is the most straightforward one. She’s teaching me to love myself.
Yesterday I was getting really excited about new projects, but also feeling my mind spin on “so much to do.” Bambi was giving me her piercing stare across the room, and when I went to talk to her to figure out what she was needing, she just kept aggressively licking my face. “Just chill,” she seemed to say. “You did good work today, now let’s snuggle.”
Astrology gives us clues by way of archetypes, but it’s up to us to receive the soul growth. Chiron is an opportunity for healing, with the invitation to support others with what you’ve healed in yourself. Uranus is a redirection towards greater freedom.
Something I’m mulling is how Bambi’s separation anxiety (which likely accelerated the heart condition) motivates me to stay home more and be more slow, at least for the time she has left. (Let’s be real—as a writer, this is exactly the pace I crave.) From this perspective I see that even through the pain, what’s happening is also exactly the best medicine for my own soul development.
A few friends have requested astrology readings recently. I’ve shifted my approach to incorporate more intuition and a little numerology, applying my expertise as a fiction writer to do what I call “finding where you are in the current plot.” Book Here.
Love,
Dani
PS: Are you a writer? Creative? I would love to learn more about the challenges you’re currently facing. Take my brief survey. My goal is to get 50 responses—if a few creative friends come to mind, please share the link!
I'm so sorry to hear about Bambi's ailments. I hope you have a lot of time left together. ♥️